John and Ash were good friends. They saw each other weekly and John even lived with Ash as plutonic housemates for a short time. Ash would often ask John to borrow small amounts of money. Initially John was obliging even though he didn’t have a lot of money to lend. John subsequently learnt that Ash had been asking other friends for money and also not paying them back. John was angry as he saw this as a betrayal and breach of trust. It later came to light that Ash had been making up stories around run ins with police and fake suicide attempts. John knew the suicide attempts to be fake because it was verified from reliable sources that Ash was not at the locations he was pretending to suicide at.
John became angry and tried to get Ash to stop lying to him and refused to lend him anymore money. John confided about the situation with other friends. John was advised to end the friendship. John had a lengthy conversation with Ash and ended up telling him their lives were moving in different directions and that he had moved on from the friendship. Ash was very resistant but the friendship did end.
What was the error of Ash? What could Ash have done differently?
Ash should not have asked to borrow money knowing he was never going to pay it back. Ash should not have told lies.
What was the error of John? What could John have done differently?
This was a toxic friendship and John should have ended it sooner.
How did this situation pan out?
John realised he needed better friends than Ash and from that time became ruthless in selecting his friends.
The authors go on to say “at the core of every successful conversation lies the free flow of relevant information. People openly and honestly express their opinions, share their feelings, and articulate their theories. They willingly and capably share their views, even when their ideas are controversial or unpopular.” I don’t think the authors are any more in favour of silence than I am when they say “silence consists of any act to purposefully withhold information from the pool of meaning. It’s almost always done as a means of avoiding potential problems, and it always restricts the flow of meaning. Methods range from playing verbal games to avoiding a person entirely. The three most common forms of silence are masking, avoiding, and withdrawing.
… Well the principles of reciprocity in friendship apply in business also. In a true friendship you need to be nice, caring and interesting right? You need to be empathetifc and responsive to the other person. You have to want to give to the other person just because they are your true friend.
Well in social media if you give you get. Start by following everyone that follows you. If you google my name and look at all my social media you will notice the followers to followings ratio is about equal. Have a look at my twitter. Notice how few of the posts are my stuff and how much of it is retweeting. I often say to people retweet 20 times a day and make retweeting 80% of what you do. This has got me on to over 300 lists and now as at the time of writing this my tweets can reach 125k people and retweets nearly 3 million. When you give you get.
How many businesses are hard selling and wondering why people are not buying their product. Not only am I giving 2% of the book profits to Aid for Africa but I also volunteer a lot of my time to teach English to overseas students on a voluntary basis or to other students at a low fee …
This will be a fun test Nick Founder nickfounder.com